Changing The Sheets - An Exercise In Exercise

Oct 19th 2017

I just finished an unusual exercise routine here aboard sv Honey Ryder.  One that gives me a good cardio work out (albeit short), stretching, flexing, muscle use and contortion, all done in short burst not unlike interval training.  My workout routine just now?  I changed the sheets on our bed.

This is a commonly joked about but real thing among the cruising community - the struggle to put clean sheets on the bed.  Most boat beds are odd shaped.  There is the V-Berth - exactly what it sounds like, larger at the top than the bottom.  The pullman - more like a traditional bed but still a tad off and shaped with some taper at the foot.  It is offset to the center of the boat.  We have a pullman.  There are various styles of single berths, usually tucked here and there in boat and usually with little room to maneuver once you get in.  Some aft cabins have large beds facing port or starboard vs forward.  Some beds have headroom and access from both sides, however, this is rare.  Most boat beds have limited headroom and very limited access.  This is where the cardo / contortion workout comes in.

In our case with the port side pullman style bed,  I start in the top centerline corner, then secure the bottom centerline corner, all while standing beside the bed.  So far so good.  Then I hoist myself up on the bed on my hands and knees, smoothing the sheet towards the portside upper corner.  I pry it up towards me and shove the fitted (it really should be called illfitted in this case) sheet under the pried up cushion/matress with one hand and then switch and do the other side.  Then I lay it down.  It usually doesn't lay flat so I have to do sort of an odd maneuver of jumping up in the air (from my kneeling position) while grabbing sheet under me and moving over so it will lay flat, all while still up in the air.  Yes, it is as difficult and weird as it sounds.  Then I move to the portside lower corner and repeat.  Often I have to pry up the cushion along the portside length and do the mid-air hop / pull the covers at the same time move there too.  Finally, I back out of the bed back to standing beside it and try to stuff under and smooth as best I can out any areas that didn't get tucked under the cushion.

At this point, I am usually sweating profusely despite both fans running.  Frequently, I have some sort of cramp as well.

The aft cabin bed is even more of a challenge because the headroom is low, very low.  This bed is made by laying flat on my stomach, starting at the far end (aft) tucking in massive amounts of sheet material because this end is narrower than the other. Then I squirm backwards on my tummy, tucking on both sides as I go.  Finally I crawl out and put my feet on the floor to stand.  This is where I always smack my head by standing up too soon.  OUCH!  The the final tucks are completed as the sweat pours off me.  Luckily this is only done when we have company.

You can buy custom fitted sheets for boat beds.  They are $$$.  You can also make them.  On our C30 I made a simple set because it was a V-Berth style bed with low headroom.  Standard sheets do an ok job on our pullman berth so I haven't bothered to make custom sheets.  The "TO DO" list of canvas / sewing projects is long so if I were to make them, those would be near the bottom of the list.