Every so often an odd thing occurs and I would be interested in your thoughts. As an equal partner in the sailing life, I have always been involved. I actually grew up sailing. Tom didn't take his first sail until high school. Sometimes we are together sailing, teaching lessons, working on various projects or boat socializing. Other times, we are solo on the boat(s). Me included. However I find that if I am alone working on a boat project, it's fairly common to get a comment (whether it's to me or Tom) that is a congratulations of some sort
TO Tom.....like "Congrats! I can never get my wife to _
fill in the blank_" Or "Cap10 Tom, awesome with the wax job. I wish my wife would wax the boat."
I just find it weird that fellow sailors congratulate Tom on
my work on the boat. ????? I understand that my gender as a whole is not
always as involved in boating. But it still strikes me as odd. I don't recall that anyone has complemented
me on Tom's work, other than to say "Wow, Tom is really a terrific craftsman when it comes to rehabbing a house" or "Tom can sure smoke up some fabulous ribs." Is that different? It feels different. Hum? How about it my sailing sistas
out there, has it happened to you? Guys, do you get these complements on the work/projects your sailing chicks accomplish?
There was an interesting conversation on SailNet recently on the same topic. What I found odd was that two younger women, both serious cruisers, reported the same kind of disrespect (or at least, automatic wrong assumptions about their competence) that you mentioned. I just haven't had that experience. Is it because I'm older? Different cruising area? If we could figure out what I'm doing "right" it could help us all. The SailNet thread is here: http://www.sailnet.com/forums/hersailnet/94977-unleashing-womens-potential-blue-water-sailing.html
ReplyDeleteI think it's just a stereotype that the man is the more competent, experienced sailor and that women are less so, or even have to be dragged into it kicking and screaming. Those men are just jealous that Tom has such an interested, involved, and cool partner! And it's true that even in this day and age, and even when the woman is the more experienced sailor, that the man is still most often the "captain" of the ship. It's hard for even the most evolved and liberated person to deny that these stereotypes exist.
ReplyDeleteRecently during a tense conversation between my husband and a co-worker, she commented in somewhat of a tiff, "So on your boat, you're the captain." He calmly and so wonderfully told her, "Yes, I'm the captain, but my wife is the Admiral. It's her boat!"
ReplyDeleteMy husband does most of the grunt work on the boat because he is retired and likes to scrub bottoms and wax. He is better on engine repair than I. I do all the wood stuff, canvas work and rigging; cause I like it and I tie a better know than he. Recently someone commented to him about being the captain, he said "Yes I'm the captain, but my wife is the Admiral - it's her boat!" Nice!
ReplyDelete